Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Double Short Decaf with a Shot of Intolerance

The irony is too rich in the continuing saga of Starbucks' attempt to broaden their customer's minds just a little bit. They have been putting quotes on their cups that are more than the typical Hallmark "inspirational" crap that you might expect. One quote is from Armistead Maupin: "My only regret about being gay is that I repressed it for so long. I surrendered my youth to the people I feared when I could have been out there loving someone. Don't make that mistake yourself. Life's too damn short." Apparently someone at Baptist Baylor University didn't appreciate such evil words and had Starbucks pull the cups.

So what exactly is wrong with this quote? One man is saying that he regretted knuckling under to fear in his youth. He wants other youths to act from love not from fear. I don't know, sounds kinda Christian to me. My guess is Baylor is saying, "You know those people Mr. Maupin was afraid of? That'd be us. Y'all should bottle up that love and get some good repression and fear whipped up. That's why we don't allow dancin', it's not that we don't love to dance, but with all them bottles stuck up our asses, it's hard to get a good groove on."

I did have to double-check to see if Baylor had a Dance Department by checking their departments in the College of Arts and Sciences. No dance department, but they do have a "Church State" department and an Environmental Studies department (in Texas? at a right-wing college?). I imagine the Church-State department is contemplating a putsch or crusade to take over the Political Science department whose splash screen's motto is "Preparing students for effective living in a democratic society" - clearly an outmoded concept in today's current political climate. The new motto should be "Preparing students for repressed living in a theocratic society."

There is a faculty opening in the Biology department in the Genetics area. Apparently the previous scholar made the mistake of not giving equal time to Intelligent Design in their research and went afoul of the fact that "Baylor is affiliated with the Baptist General Convention of Texas. The successful candidate must be able to embrace Baylor's Christian heritage and mission."

No dance department at Baylor, but there is a Theater Arts department. They do have a lengthy mission statement but I don't see any mention of a Don't Ask/Don't Tell policy. Hmmm...


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