Wednesday, January 14, 2004

Department of Dilemmas

My company is having a company meeting and a holiday party this week. The company meeting looks like it is going to be a social affair with food, drinks and music. As will the holiday party - which has the added bonus of "cocktail attire" - which I take to mean "Come as your favorite apertif". I hope someone comes as "Sex on the Beach" or "Screaming Orgasm" (in cause you were wondering, the buried pun *is* intentional). Though, looking at some of the engineers, maybe not...

But that is neither here nor there, Sam I Am. My dilemma is that these things are tremendously nerve wracking for the introvert. I mistakenly RSVP'ed for the company party and I find out that a lot of people in my department aren't going. I.e. the only people I would know there. I can *only* have any semblance of a good time at these things if I am on extremely good footing with a lot of people. I.e., they already have come to terms with the fact that I am several sigmas shy of normal and yet still tolerate my presence. I would rather have sharp, burning, pus laden skewers in my eyes than have to "mingle" and small talk my way through a crowd of people I don't know. I mean, I don't watch TV, sports or practice conspicuous consumption so there ain't a lot of common ground.

There was one holiday party at my previous company that was at a Museum. The theme was "Casino night". Since both my wife and I find no point in gambling we put our tokens on one spin of the roulette wheel and then spent the rest of the night going through the exhibits - it was wonderful. Didn't have to worry about saying something stupid or be insufficiently impressed by the latest inanities of some idiot in Marketing. Therefore I think I will skip the holiday party. If anybody calls me on the fact that I RSVP'ed, I can always say that I was there - that I am such a wallflower that they never noticed!

Besides, with an introvert, one should realize that their saying "Yes" to these things is always a provisional answer. Yes only means yes if the stars have aligned sufficiently to assuage the anxiety gods. And the anxiety gods are restless this week. And it's not like anybody is going to note my absence (sans Sassy of course). I think I will go to the company meeting however and bail out with the reason that I biked in today and I don't want to let it get too dark...


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